i'm a biG NOTHING.

         There are many people who write autobiographies.
there are many people who maintain a bed-time diary.

Every one of them feel that they are surely important persons on this round damn Earth.

A little crave for attention and a little more narcissism.

The following few lines also fall under the similar species of ink over a question and a monosyllabic answer…which goes like this :

“What I am ?”

“NOTHING.”

I am very much sure that everyone of us at some point of time might have killed an ant.
Have you ever thought of the lives of them…..?
( if u haven’t taken this as kidding and seriously came up with a honest answer then it would almost sound this way…)

ANS: Small one. Just an Ant, not much important.

( who knows it might be important for its dad, mom, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, granny ants etc……I am telling you I haven’t got any intentions of tickling you people and I am serious of what I am telling.)

 how can dinosaurs and the mythical demons are bad and sinful when we are not…?

Always a LIFE is a LIFE.

If you are feeling low to compare yourself with the life that of an ant, then one can compare with the Nature.
“Now the nothingness makes little sense I guess..!”

We are not born with choice.
We don’t die with a choice.

It’s all the nature of the Nature.

A man standing on a point makes a circle of radius ‘ME’ then a little bigger one with ‘FAMILY’ , then a little more bigger of ‘FRIENDS AND COLLEAGUES’ and  the funny part is that he also assigns one for his hatred making a circle ‘AVOID & ENEMY’ but never any radii of society, Nature, help and concern.

Thinks himself to be a radiant source of centrifugal flow  but craving for an centripetal affection and attention.

Even the family also keeps lots of hopes, expectations, love, affection, emotions, care, sentiment, attachment etc. along with a stack of keep sakes leading to a psychological gigabyte of memory disks.

We ourselves give a lot of attention on many tiny things if they are related to us.

Innumerable gifts and cards what we give to one guy/gal and on top of it telling phony stuff pretty often that “ U know me , I know U. It’s you what gives me happiness not these materialistic gains by the way that’s a nice Perfume darling”.

‘****’
 the smell of soil from where we get our food.

The smell of sweat from dad who works all the day.

Scolding mom for the stringent smell of onions( H2SO4) playing on a PSP and that of the raw milk packets.

LOVE what you LIVE.

Wearing a branded tee of 3k,jeans of 5k, watch of 15k, shoe of 8k and a branded string undie of 1000 rupeeees with a cool shades of 4k on a 250cc bold bike and suddenly some god damn fucking lorry driver who with a torn vest and a stinking dhoti hits the guy leading to a fatal accident.

Moral of the story :

‘ Death is priceless.’

‘Death is also pointless.’

No logic, no timing, no guarantee.

Taking all Proteins, steroids and going to a costliest Gym stacking up packs on your tummy and all of a sudden one day some thief bumps onto you stabs you with a 4 inch knife diagonally to the sternum right into the heart.

A fatality knock out as the one in mortal combat games.

Moral of the Story :

Not only LOVE, even DEATH is BLIND. It doesn’t care how sexy or how smart you are.

Life is a Bubble.
How even big it is…..how high it ….a Prick can end it any time anywhere.

When compared to the mother earth ( nature )

what is our size…?
what is our lifespan..?

what is impact on other’s lives..?

again it’s the NOTHING.

In spite of that we are polluting it, we are killing many poor people with our greed.
( rather surfing for sexy wallpapers surf once over the hunger deaths.
follow the Somalia issue on the editorial page rather than page 3.)

On my new tee I found these lines which made me to buy it,

“WE NEED NOT STOP MOVING AHEAD BUT SHOULD STOP MOVING OVER…! ”

When we are happy and smiling our lips point the sky curving up

When we are sad and crying the tears fall down.

But whatever it is, our legs are always on Ground.

Happiness- Sadness

Comfort-Difficulty

Sexy – Extra pounds

Are like waves of the sea…..they Fall and Raise but the sea always sustains its sobriety.

The Rich Sea can’t reduce the poor’s thirsty.

It’s only those few rivers which flow toward them and gives them water and life.

So……BE LIKE A FLOWING RIVER.

Don’t ever raise expectations on anything. It’s always better flowing with all gush rather raising high as a bush being a prey for some untimely gusty wind..!    

-Ram.

....Possessive RAIN.....

Lips smile Pink
Mascara eYes wink.

Either Chewing Gum
or showing Bum.

Gals pass on brushing their Bosom.
an insane ripened Buxom.

Ur Colored Streaks
uP skirt and Tees 
Never turn me a Freak.

I bide for the Bride of
an innocent Hug
a wIttY Wink.
a trusty Brain
with a possessive RAIN.

-raM...!

AmbiGuous-OmnibuS.

                A coin has its value only when it has got the both sides of it.

                 Toss it.

             When a wave propagates it goes with a consecutive crests and troughs. That’s how it sails throughout its life time before it gets dampened (death). Life is a wave. It definitely has got its crests and troughs.

The coin which got tossed at the starting of this essay should either be a HEAD or TAIL after hitting the land being biased. A wave though having its crests and troughs in vertical motion has its propagation in a horizontal motion for the sake of reaching its destination or by its nature (whatever).

My mind is a piggy bank of few fist full of dollars or coins which always pop out as in a pop-corn maker. No rest and remaining unbiased. As the denomination of the coins, my thought coins also have few appellations of their own.

Money-Satisfaction (JOB coin)

I accept Money is not everything……but don’t leave the underlying fact that it can buy MANY THINGS.

Getting a good amount of money, a gr8 car with your girl on your shoulder, drive straight on to your yacht and sharing the finest wine with a campfire and a cosy bed. This sounds great and nice.

Also sometimes this tiny heart of mine, without minding it's own business of periodical  pounding also gives some concern to the issues like poverty, girl infanticide, women molestation and corruption.

I may not do anything to them. I may not change the world. But a tiny hope in ma tiny heart  always thumps periodically that I can affect it to some extent at least…..
That lands me on struggle for existence rather on survival of the fittest.

Philanthropy-Misanthropy (Attitude coin)

Sometimes I feel I have to love everyone (now don’t come up with a mocking alacrity as I am not addressing girls alone.) like some Mother Theresa, with a smile on face and a heart in mind that’s all it needs and takes.

Sometimes I feel like for the people who don’t care and who doesn’t know the value of life and the way they are living being mean etc. making me to feel that they don’t deserve my concern.
this makes me to care for them sometimes and hate them as the way they are being.
no one can be perfect and whom am I to expect anything from them.

Sex-Character (Character)

Sex is the natural tendency and the law of nature which creates a automatic attraction of the opposite sex. Sex is not crime. Sexual intentions are not wrong. Our pre-defined values and principles of our culture alone makes it as a sin (paapam).

But sometimes I also feel that you just have sex with everyone as a stray dog and should have some values and principles by yourself. For yourself.

This Physio -Psychological ambiguity is a Jeopardy for my psychological placidity.

Anger-Kind (nature).

Its obvious that sometime or other there comes a situation or incident which raises the adrenalin. The anger. Explodes.

Later we realise and repent that the anger most of the time is shown on our nearer and dearer ones.

I also want to be kind to them. Showing my love alone.

Anger always remains as an accident for me.
I don’t know when it comes. I know why.  But that’s futile.

Monogamy- Polygamy (Relations)

In Hindu Mythology there’s a saying that the number of whorls (sudulu) equals the number of wives.

This blushes me as I have got 3 of them...:P

When all the kings and gods whom we take up as idols, ideals and models etc. are polygamous and why don’t we accept and try it out.

For anyone they have a thought of marrying or lust or some carnal desire on other lady after marriage too. But as that’s a social sin so they don’t discuss that and builds her an epitaph inside the heart itself.

I am here just giving a live form for anyone’s or my own thoughts .

which may come……or may not come.


Hope-Despair(Philosophy-coin)

Its always this tiny hope which actually makes us to fly high to our dreams and at the same time can stamp down to earth crackling up the expectations.

A hope always helps for some positivity.

It gives patience.

But when the expectations do not reach, then it’s the Despair.

Sometimes I intentionally entertain the feel Despair.
it’s actually the other side of looking at your things from a negative side to a positive shade.

Mind sometimes entertain stoicism.



These above are a certain collection. An inevitable concoction.

An Omnibus of the times of my state of Ambiguous..! 

-Ram.