PreciouS AsheS

In the past days of ours

Thy eyes searching places,

Halting at mine.

Days pass on

While those eyes

Spoke volumes.

Felt your presence

By the warmth

Of your breath.

Felt your pulse

From those clasped arms.

In the times of low

As my childhood teddy,

Your hug awaits, no matter how Nerdy

I was.

In the times of Joy,

Those giggles and goosebumps

Gave us the

Happiness of Napoleon’s Triumphs.

 All those special words on cards

Those emotions tied to

every knots of

those gift packs.

Past days gone Fast.

Comes a time

When those eyes

Turn black and blank.

Veiled in tears

Rolling down pearls.

Comes a time

When those

Priceless presents

Get piled up

Set with fire

Turns into a heap

Of Precious Ashes.

Gone those keepsakes

With the wind.

Few mornings with mournings

Again comes a time.............
when......
-Ram.

LOW

When 'you' were loW

Everything seems high,

Fine with a shine.

Thoughts creep everywhere

Hope drops.

Heart peeps out for a

company.

Hand tends to get locked

in someone’s.

Shrinken bosom

Awaits a Hug.

Legs loose their ground.

Confidence leaning,

Making you relying.

Tears sealed in

Egoistic cocoon bursts.

Rolling down on cheeks.

Comes a Time

When the black ink,

In the dead pot

Gets life out of the Blue,

Falling onto white sheets

Penning down

all those

Clouds of emotions

Realising,

Life is all in your Hands

Right in front of you,

Spreading the plain sheets

Making mosaic of poetic Clusters. 

-Ram.

i'm a biG NOTHING.

         There are many people who write autobiographies.
there are many people who maintain a bed-time diary.

Every one of them feel that they are surely important persons on this round damn Earth.

A little crave for attention and a little more narcissism.

The following few lines also fall under the similar species of ink over a question and a monosyllabic answer…which goes like this :

“What I am ?”

“NOTHING.”

I am very much sure that everyone of us at some point of time might have killed an ant.
Have you ever thought of the lives of them…..?
( if u haven’t taken this as kidding and seriously came up with a honest answer then it would almost sound this way…)

ANS: Small one. Just an Ant, not much important.

( who knows it might be important for its dad, mom, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, granny ants etc……I am telling you I haven’t got any intentions of tickling you people and I am serious of what I am telling.)

 how can dinosaurs and the mythical demons are bad and sinful when we are not…?

Always a LIFE is a LIFE.

If you are feeling low to compare yourself with the life that of an ant, then one can compare with the Nature.
“Now the nothingness makes little sense I guess..!”

We are not born with choice.
We don’t die with a choice.

It’s all the nature of the Nature.

A man standing on a point makes a circle of radius ‘ME’ then a little bigger one with ‘FAMILY’ , then a little more bigger of ‘FRIENDS AND COLLEAGUES’ and  the funny part is that he also assigns one for his hatred making a circle ‘AVOID & ENEMY’ but never any radii of society, Nature, help and concern.

Thinks himself to be a radiant source of centrifugal flow  but craving for an centripetal affection and attention.

Even the family also keeps lots of hopes, expectations, love, affection, emotions, care, sentiment, attachment etc. along with a stack of keep sakes leading to a psychological gigabyte of memory disks.

We ourselves give a lot of attention on many tiny things if they are related to us.

Innumerable gifts and cards what we give to one guy/gal and on top of it telling phony stuff pretty often that “ U know me , I know U. It’s you what gives me happiness not these materialistic gains by the way that’s a nice Perfume darling”.

‘****’
 the smell of soil from where we get our food.

The smell of sweat from dad who works all the day.

Scolding mom for the stringent smell of onions( H2SO4) playing on a PSP and that of the raw milk packets.

LOVE what you LIVE.

Wearing a branded tee of 3k,jeans of 5k, watch of 15k, shoe of 8k and a branded string undie of 1000 rupeeees with a cool shades of 4k on a 250cc bold bike and suddenly some god damn fucking lorry driver who with a torn vest and a stinking dhoti hits the guy leading to a fatal accident.

Moral of the story :

‘ Death is priceless.’

‘Death is also pointless.’

No logic, no timing, no guarantee.

Taking all Proteins, steroids and going to a costliest Gym stacking up packs on your tummy and all of a sudden one day some thief bumps onto you stabs you with a 4 inch knife diagonally to the sternum right into the heart.

A fatality knock out as the one in mortal combat games.

Moral of the Story :

Not only LOVE, even DEATH is BLIND. It doesn’t care how sexy or how smart you are.

Life is a Bubble.
How even big it is…..how high it ….a Prick can end it any time anywhere.

When compared to the mother earth ( nature )

what is our size…?
what is our lifespan..?

what is impact on other’s lives..?

again it’s the NOTHING.

In spite of that we are polluting it, we are killing many poor people with our greed.
( rather surfing for sexy wallpapers surf once over the hunger deaths.
follow the Somalia issue on the editorial page rather than page 3.)

On my new tee I found these lines which made me to buy it,

“WE NEED NOT STOP MOVING AHEAD BUT SHOULD STOP MOVING OVER…! ”

When we are happy and smiling our lips point the sky curving up

When we are sad and crying the tears fall down.

But whatever it is, our legs are always on Ground.

Happiness- Sadness

Comfort-Difficulty

Sexy – Extra pounds

Are like waves of the sea…..they Fall and Raise but the sea always sustains its sobriety.

The Rich Sea can’t reduce the poor’s thirsty.

It’s only those few rivers which flow toward them and gives them water and life.

So……BE LIKE A FLOWING RIVER.

Don’t ever raise expectations on anything. It’s always better flowing with all gush rather raising high as a bush being a prey for some untimely gusty wind..!    

-Ram.

....Possessive RAIN.....

Lips smile Pink
Mascara eYes wink.

Either Chewing Gum
or showing Bum.

Gals pass on brushing their Bosom.
an insane ripened Buxom.

Ur Colored Streaks
uP skirt and Tees 
Never turn me a Freak.

I bide for the Bride of
an innocent Hug
a wIttY Wink.
a trusty Brain
with a possessive RAIN.

-raM...!

AmbiGuous-OmnibuS.

                A coin has its value only when it has got the both sides of it.

                 Toss it.

             When a wave propagates it goes with a consecutive crests and troughs. That’s how it sails throughout its life time before it gets dampened (death). Life is a wave. It definitely has got its crests and troughs.

The coin which got tossed at the starting of this essay should either be a HEAD or TAIL after hitting the land being biased. A wave though having its crests and troughs in vertical motion has its propagation in a horizontal motion for the sake of reaching its destination or by its nature (whatever).

My mind is a piggy bank of few fist full of dollars or coins which always pop out as in a pop-corn maker. No rest and remaining unbiased. As the denomination of the coins, my thought coins also have few appellations of their own.

Money-Satisfaction (JOB coin)

I accept Money is not everything……but don’t leave the underlying fact that it can buy MANY THINGS.

Getting a good amount of money, a gr8 car with your girl on your shoulder, drive straight on to your yacht and sharing the finest wine with a campfire and a cosy bed. This sounds great and nice.

Also sometimes this tiny heart of mine, without minding it's own business of periodical  pounding also gives some concern to the issues like poverty, girl infanticide, women molestation and corruption.

I may not do anything to them. I may not change the world. But a tiny hope in ma tiny heart  always thumps periodically that I can affect it to some extent at least…..
That lands me on struggle for existence rather on survival of the fittest.

Philanthropy-Misanthropy (Attitude coin)

Sometimes I feel I have to love everyone (now don’t come up with a mocking alacrity as I am not addressing girls alone.) like some Mother Theresa, with a smile on face and a heart in mind that’s all it needs and takes.

Sometimes I feel like for the people who don’t care and who doesn’t know the value of life and the way they are living being mean etc. making me to feel that they don’t deserve my concern.
this makes me to care for them sometimes and hate them as the way they are being.
no one can be perfect and whom am I to expect anything from them.

Sex-Character (Character)

Sex is the natural tendency and the law of nature which creates a automatic attraction of the opposite sex. Sex is not crime. Sexual intentions are not wrong. Our pre-defined values and principles of our culture alone makes it as a sin (paapam).

But sometimes I also feel that you just have sex with everyone as a stray dog and should have some values and principles by yourself. For yourself.

This Physio -Psychological ambiguity is a Jeopardy for my psychological placidity.

Anger-Kind (nature).

Its obvious that sometime or other there comes a situation or incident which raises the adrenalin. The anger. Explodes.

Later we realise and repent that the anger most of the time is shown on our nearer and dearer ones.

I also want to be kind to them. Showing my love alone.

Anger always remains as an accident for me.
I don’t know when it comes. I know why.  But that’s futile.

Monogamy- Polygamy (Relations)

In Hindu Mythology there’s a saying that the number of whorls (sudulu) equals the number of wives.

This blushes me as I have got 3 of them...:P

When all the kings and gods whom we take up as idols, ideals and models etc. are polygamous and why don’t we accept and try it out.

For anyone they have a thought of marrying or lust or some carnal desire on other lady after marriage too. But as that’s a social sin so they don’t discuss that and builds her an epitaph inside the heart itself.

I am here just giving a live form for anyone’s or my own thoughts .

which may come……or may not come.


Hope-Despair(Philosophy-coin)

Its always this tiny hope which actually makes us to fly high to our dreams and at the same time can stamp down to earth crackling up the expectations.

A hope always helps for some positivity.

It gives patience.

But when the expectations do not reach, then it’s the Despair.

Sometimes I intentionally entertain the feel Despair.
it’s actually the other side of looking at your things from a negative side to a positive shade.

Mind sometimes entertain stoicism.



These above are a certain collection. An inevitable concoction.

An Omnibus of the times of my state of Ambiguous..! 

-Ram.

CONSCIENCE vs CHARACTER

When I was a kid , 

I can recall my inquisitiveness over the question “ what was first : Chicken or Egg ?”

"Seed or Tree…?”

While nearing my teens and after studying reproduction chapters in class 8 th , I took a step ahead and got into the mystery of “ Man or Woman..?”

Now after stepping into my 21^st year one question is repeating itself so recurrently that I cant avoid answering it.

“  LIFE- POLICIES & PRINCIPLES …? ”

This question makes another  ‘Fight Club’ between my thoughts of my CHARACTER and my CONSCIENCE.

CHARACTER :

I personally feel one has to make few principles and stick to them. Let the world end , sky might fall and in topsy turvy  situation one shouldn’t  deteriorate .

To quote one by Che Guevara “ I would rather die standing than live on my knees"

CONSCIENCE :

‘Che’ knows that its jeopardy gng to Bolivia and got shot dead at an age of 39 leaving his daughter Hildalta and  wife with the world.Our lives are important. Living is more important.

First is living a Life and then the framed principles and policies.

CHARACTER :

 In such a case, what’s the difference between Man and Animal. ?

You can’t degrade yourself begging for food and collecting crumbs at the garbage bins ..!

It’s better dying.......Wat saY…?

CONSCIENCE:

 Two points I have to make clear to you before I raise one of my own.

-There need not be any difference between human and animals when it’s a matter of living. I am not talking about the quality but about sheer living. Moreover we harm them more. :P

-Coming to beggars, Life isn’t a choice for them. Life is to live it.

Hunger doesn’t have any Taste.

Sleep doesn’t have any comfort.

It’s your thought and Pre-defined values which make them important to you.

To a point of mine, have you ever thought of the quality of quality…?

Quality is a relative term like that of Good and Bad.

‘ISI’ or ‘ASA’ standards aren’t there for living yet.

CHARACTER :

Quality is a relative term. I accept  but,

It’s better living a year like Swan than a life like a Crow.

It’s better living a day with freedom than a year like a Slave.

CONSCIENCE :

 You are neither living the life of Swan nor the Crow .put yourself in the shoes of the crow and tell……

It can’t paint itself  WHITE and tell that  “ THIS IS IT”.

No choice man ….no choice…can’t you see that..?

A prostitute sells her body .

A software professional sells his mind.

On terms of quality it’s the mind which takes the Cake.

SO , THE PROSTITUTE is maintaining a better dignity than the software professional.

Principles and policies should be keep changing with time and conditions.

CHARACTER:

If you keep changing, being fickle and not have a standardised consistency then where you end up finally…?

If everyone thinks same,

CHE felt the same……

Gandhi…..Bhagat Singh ….the same then Cuba and India would have still been fighting for Independence day.

Tilak said ‘ Swaraj is my birth right’ and that’s what he foufght for until his last breathe.

That’s what he is still remembered for …!

CONSCIENCE :

TRUCE……let me call it a day with mine……….

Man listen,

I agree with you that Gandhi and Tilak are the frontiers of the national movement. But, they are the middle and upper middle class. They had a CHOICE.

I am insisting upon the poor, the beggars , the prostitutes , the daily waged labour  who makes up the 70-75 % of  our India. I here also stress that one can’t and shouldn’t look down upon them.

A poor man can posses his dignity and honesty as his asset.

Where a rich shows his money and prosperity as his status and assets.

Just keep in mind that never look down upon any poor ( pure ) fellow. There are many Rich fellows of Poor character and rotten mind sets with zero honesty and disgusting dignity. ……….!

-Ram

21 years of Realisations .......!

A months baby can realise that her mom is angry jus by her expressions……..i am 21 now……so……u can obviously expect few lines from dis age. Everyone has got their own experiences and analysis of people and situations and the way of tackling them. Everyone has got a feeling that they are right and special and living differently than others.

I am here penning this mosaic of ink, having a similar or lil familiar feeling as of the above lines.

I am living in a country where the bank interest for Educational loan is more than that of the car loan. As per few statistics it seems that India is having more money in the Swiss banks than any other country which makes India the richest of the world. Who said India is not a developed country……?. India is a country which is developed in an improper way. With its mammoth population and the problems it is facing like poverty, corruption, rural awareness and the company of greedy politicians daunting any active socialist. But what I can tell proudly about India is that the safety and the freedom of living.

 When compared to most of the developed countries like the United states , Russia , China and Saudi …Indian safety standards for women and the crime rate is pretty less. A favourable climate , a concoction of various cultures and traditions all living under the same roof is a ultimate luxury. I am loving it.

One thing which has been inevitable from my childhood is the education. I seriously hate the education system of India. I accept that competition brings best of anything but the overall quality is getting down and down day by day. People have to realise the fact that 1^st position is one which can be achieved by one alone. In India the one who made it in engineering is opting management and getting into some MNC just for the reason being paid heavily.

In India education has been seen as a top notch field to earn money. I accept it earns a gud amount of money but shouldn’t be for the money alone. Gone those days where people used to choose professions where their passions drive them. Now it’s the parents who take a lion’s share of the choice making [ No Bommarillu Dads  plzzz…….:P ]

                 Imagine these situations….. :

U are coming from a goo restaurant where the fud is quite expensive ( 2000 for 2 ) and u ordered more than what u can have and left it on the tables not even eating half of them…and finally ended up playing with it throwing the meat balls from one plate to other.                              

U came out of the restaurant on ur way home found a pauper in rags shivering for the cold night and searching the street side dustbin for any leftovers chasing the dogs away.

 When a street child snatches a chocolate bar from ur hand and runs, We obviously scold him. I am not telling that we shudnt do that, but our sensibility levels should realise that at that moment the chocolate is our accessory, a dessert , an add-on but to that street lad that’s the main course , that’s that day’s staple diet…..:(.

When we travel in local trams we get a seat which is our luck or attentiveness which makes us to grab one immediately. But wen we find any lady ( above our age only :P ) or an old man or a couple holding a child , we can give offer our seat to them with out any expectations of all the crowd cheering our sensible nature :P. I realised these petty things actually give you more happiness than pressing ur butt hard on a seat like that.

Anger is not dangerous. u can be angry, but have u ever realised that most of the time we get anger upon our close ones. Mom, dad and friends …etc. so we trouble them with our words and also repent later for telling few harsh one we don’t mean them. You need not be popular like Buddha or Gandhi being very sublime and following ahimsa, but can be a happy man.

Always have something in mind that what I gain from this.                                                         This particular instinct doesn’t make you selfish but makes you to utilise your time more effectively. Yes I do agree gossips with friends , daily hang outs to CCDs, boozing and dancing on the floors  gets u enuf happiness, but have u ever realised for how long that happiness is being effective…or useful.

HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT THAT HAPPINESS CAN ALSO BE USEFUL……..?

Increase ur intellectual levels………increase ur understanding abilities and an open wide outlook on the society. Try accepting things as they are without judging out at first sight.

Boys generally get a impression wen a gal is going in tight outfit with a trendy luk , dat she is easy to get . when she deny them , then they come up saying she is a slut man , my goodness I din make it with her…!

Gals generally  ( exceptions are always there so plss……..sushhhh…! ) get boys around them and make friendship in order to fulfil few deeds. They get dependent , ask him to do dis for them with a lovely tone . the relation or relations runs quite gud as long as they are at same place and goes off ones the distance increases…!

Realisations need not come out when they happen to us……they can be realised from other peoples incidents.

After all these 21 years I jus left with few resolutions………

Not for becoming great but to sustains my happiness……

A platter of  Humour , wit , sensibility and a small do-good nature

Anger ,jealous, selfishness as jus Spices to the dish of ma life …!

I also realised that now I am 21 ………I am now eligible for both MASTERS AND MARRIAGE….:P.

-Ram.